Sad Inheritance by Joaquín Sorolla

Notes from the podcast

  • Addiction is not about the substance it is about the addictive behaviour.
  • We all experience addictive urges and behaviours.
  • Addictive behaviour comes from early trauma.
  • The only difference between an “average” person and a junky is the level of trauma they experienced.
  • The individual’s trauma driven behaviour is interdependent on the society’s behaviour and politics. A society’s choice of traumatised politicians is also an acting out of their own unaddressed issues.
  • Trauma is inherited through generations mainly by how the parent handles their own and their child’s emotions.
  • The myths that are about how everything got better (e.g. by Steven Pinker [1]) are a narrow view of cherry picked measurements. By ignoring the other measurements that got worse, this just maintains the status quo.

In summary

  • We need to do a lot more work on understanding our emotions and the sources of them, particularly the ones related to early attachment*.
  • Individually, in parenting and as a society we should learn to “be” with negative emotions not either:
  • In parenting punishment will cause more emotionally unhealthy people. The absence of punishment doesn’t mean not teaching kind and ethical behaviour. Instead of control we can simply intervene and handle the child’s negative emotions, but only if we can be with our owns first.

Some comments of mine

One thing I would add to this is, that I personally wound’t dismiss arguments such as Pinker’s so quickly. We did make a lot of progress in terms of general standards of living, number of wars, social movements etc.

I do NLP research, code, sing and sometimes write blog posts.

I do NLP research, code, sing and sometimes write blog posts.